Frustration is boiling over for the Mets and Their Fans (Courtesy of ICON SMI)

BY JOSEPH STONE
STACHE WRITER

I have nothing to say about this team right now that would even be considered remotely positive. The Disabled List is like Stephen Hawking’s thoughts, ever-expanding. Bleh.

If they are getting rid of Tim Redding, last week is a good time for it. This guy is going to be MVP, for Philly. I wouldn’t talk to him, either. Yuck.

Frustration has now become my mood emoticon on every social networking site known to man. I wish I could go into suspended animation and just fast forward to the part where they get all the injured back, only I’m afraid that everyone I know and love would be gone, and I would be left on a planet populated by Simians. “You damn, dirty apes!!”

Oh well, at least the Mets get to test their mettle against the mighty Gnats next. Should be able to get 2 of 3. I say should when I actually mean might. Meh.

Here’s an article collecting some of the best (or worst) quotes the Mets had during the first half of this season. They missed mine. “Jane, stop this crazy thing!”

August 22nd, the Amazins are holding a reunion before their diametrically opposed current day counterparts’ game against Philadelphia. At least this is a step in the right direction to acknowledging that there have been World Champions for this team and Hey! we like them! Nolan Ryan, the forgotten man, will even be making an appearance. Sure, it will cost you $300 to hobnob with the fellas, but what at this stadium doesn’t cost you at least your first born in trade.

I hope one of the old timers decides to stick it to the Fillies like that creep, Greg Maddux, did the Mets in his little speech. Maybe next year the braintrust will figure out that the fans want to see these old guys strap ‘em up once more, and they put together an “Old Timers” game. They can get Dykstra to do a fundraiser to get it off the ground. I hear he’s good with money.

Banner Day, a forgotten Mets tradition, was brought back, at least on paper, by the Times. I’d give you mine, but I can’t express that many curse words in that small a space, and still come across as smarmy and whipsmart.

Self-help gurus these guys ain’t, but at this point, not only should the Mets watch this, Omar might think about signing some of the guys. They do have Julio Franco batting 3rd, so they got that going for them.

Last, and definitely least this guy just jumped the shark. In the section he wrote on the Mets, anyone that can explain to me what the hell he is saying in the first sentence, I’ll put $50 in your Kick-a-Buck kitty. When is this guy going to go the way of Mariotti?

Nine games is the current deficit. At least there will be no collapse this year. I take absolutely no comfort in that point. I am contemplating killing my TV, but I’m told you shouldn’t kill the messanger.

Please police your area for cups and candy wrappers on your way to the door. Thanks for coming.

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