Any Guy that Joe Stone likes has already accomplished quite alot

BY JOSEPH STONE
STACHE WRITER

2010. Welcome to the new year. I’m not positive, though, if its the same old Mets. I’m sure by now you have heard that Jason “Bayrut” Bay has joined the Metropolitans for the forseeable future. Unless, you are in a coma, you have seen this on every website from here to Texts from Last Night. (Some may argue that all Met fans are comatose, but f*ck them.) Anyhoo, Omar finally got the man’s John Hancock on the contract, and all is well. Whether you like this signing or not, it has made the news, bringing the Met brand back into the public conciousness.

Jason Bay started his career with the organization, so it is fitting that he returns. I personally feel good about the signing. For the amount of years and money laid out, the team signed a type A free agent, only lost a second round pick, and will turn a tidy profit on jersey sales alone, what with Bay’s clean cut demeanor and “Aw shucks” quotes (read: lily whitness). Four years may seem long for the blog father over at Metsblog, but I look at it like this.

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Tim Redding represents everything that was wrong with the Mets of 2009. (PHOTO BY ICON SMI)

BY JOSEPH STONE
STACHE WRITER

Apologies to my many (read: 4) fans out here on the interwebs for the long delay between posts to the Stache. I have been on the sidelines for sometime now, or in a more sport appropriate metaphor, I’ve been riding the pine due to my crappy bat and post-concussion syndrome from 2009.

After bearing witness to that abortion of a World Series, I needed time for self-assessment. I had to figure out what the hell made sense in the world of baseball and why I continue to be a fan of a team that gives me nothing but agita. I hid all the sharp objects from myself, and then looked back over the season that was. Good God, did that really all happen?

I won’t recount the bloody details. If you are on this site, then you remember it all too well. It was THE worst mess of a sports team I have ever had to be party to. It took me a long time to even begin to visit Mets websites, let alone think I could write a coherent article that wasn’t just a pic of my ass telling Omar to “Kiss here, dick.” I finally came to the conclusion of why I will reprise my role as a fellow writer with Mr. Ganci’s staff. I like all of you, the die hard fans of this team, and wish to continue commiserating and possibly (maybe?) celebrating our shared passion, all things Met.
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Does this picture make anyone else sick? (PHOTO COURTESY OF WASHINGTON TODAY)

Tonight’s tilt at the Great Cathedral of Baseball known as New Yankee Stadium began quite dull. The first inning passed with each team simply feeling each other out like two heavyweights in the early rounds of a championship fight. Pedro Martinez had no fastball to speak of, and was attempting to paint the corners, with each pitch fluttering through the zone.

In the second, after a four pitch walk to the purple lipped steroid freak, A*Rod, Martinez had an 8 pitch battle with Hideki Matsui which ended in a blast to left field, giving the Yankees a two run lead. Martinez was able to settle down and retire the side, but the damage was done.

In the Philly half of the third, Pettite was rocked by Carlos Ruiz for a triple. Brett Gardner, substituting for the injured Melky Cabrera, got a bad jump and let the ball shoot by him to allow the extra bag. Rollins hit a sac fly to drive in Ruiz, making the score 2-1. Ibanez flew out to end the inning.
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Who will get the last laugh? (PHOTO BY ICON SMI)

The auburns and golden browns of autumn have descended upon the city as they do every year at this time, bringing with them the melancholy thoughts of summer’s end, and the anticipation of another always festive holiday season. Children scamper through the streets as another school day ends. Time has fallen back, leaving us covered in darkness after a workday passes. The baseball season, which began in March, is finally coming to an end, a newly minted champion ready to take their place in history.

Game 6 will be played tonight at the new Yankee Stadium, with the possibility of the Highlanders being crowned champs. Some would say this long season was simply a delay to the inevitable coronation that is coming tonight. Others would say that, though they started off slow, the Yankees perservered through, and showed the hearts of champions. Still others would state that while there is a pulse left in the Phillies, nothing is decided. I say, “I hate both y’alls faces, and hope that the series ends in fifty to sixty injuries, leaving the teams to decimated to continue, and both are disqualified”, but I digress.
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Hideki Matsui's big blast on a Pedro Martinez curve ball made the difference.

BY JOSEPH STONE
STACHE WRITER

It was a well known nemesis taking the mound against the New York Yankees this evening. A pitcher they have seen dozens of times faced them wearing a new uniform. The man who once called them daddy was now facing them again, intent on ending their self-ordained destiny of earning ring #27. Pedro stood in the way of the Yankee machine once again.

And once again, the Philadelphia Phillies, Pedro’s new running mates, scored first. A ground rule double by Raul Ibanez and an uncalled error by A*Rod led to a 1-0 lead in the 2nd inning. The Invisible Man, A. J. Burnett, who has been having a terrible post season, looked a little better, but still is letting too many balls be put into play.

The game was extremely slow paced, as both starters continued to run counts high, dragging out at bats. Finally, in the 4th, Mark Teixeira hit a lasershot out over the right center fence. The Yankees tied the game, and for the first time all series looked like the dangerous team that led all of baseball in wins.
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Chase Utley took advantage of two CC Sabathia mistakes. (PHOTO BY ICON SMI)

After trading zeros with his former mate from Cleveland, Cliff Lee, for two innings, C. C. Sabathia finally was touched up by Chase Utley for a long bomb into his favorite area, right near the right field foul pole. Yes, the same area Gary decided to christen Chase’s Corner. So glad the Mets aren’t the only team this creep beats. The game then settled back down to zeros for another few innings.

Then in the bottom of the 5th, the bugaboo of baseball struck again, horrible umpiring. The ball was hit to Rollins, who caught it off his shoetops, and relayed it over to Howard to catch the runner of the bag at first. The second base ump signaled the ball in play as an out. Somehow, confusion reigned, and the batter, already called out, stood on first. The umps caucused for at least two minutes, and decided that, yes, in fact, everybody was out. They made the right call, but what has been endemic all year showed up early in this series. We will see it again before the series ends, mark my words.
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How anyone can root for this pesky thing is beyond me. (PHOTO BY ICON SMI)

BY JOSEPH STONE
STACHE WRITER

I have been trying to avoid this. I have been living in denial for the past few days. This is as bad as it gets for us Mets fans. Not only is our squad abysmal, but we now have to watch our two most hated rivals square off in a World Series that, quite frankly, either could win. Ugh. So it comes to this. i guess we can take comfort in that at least it isn’t the Super Bowl, with it’s interminable 2 weeks of hype. If I had to listen to the breakdown of Philly turf versus New York turf from Harold Reynolds, I would kill my TV.

One thing about this series though is that for the first time in a while, this IS a marquee match up. The Yankees are the most storied franchise in all of sports, not much needs to be said. All of New York, as well as New England (in hopes of a schadenfraude moment) will be watching this series. The Philadelphia Phillies, although not a newcomer in terms of franchises, (they are the active leader in most losses by a baseball franchise) they are certainly new to prolonged success. There was a brief period in the late ’70s and early ’80s where this team, after raiding the Cinncinnati Reds for Rose and Morgan, won a championship and was in the playoffs several years, but this is different. This team is basically home grown.

I can see how the better part of America might be pulling for Philadelphia in this series. They aren’t the Yankees, or Boston, two teams that have over stayed their welcome in the national conversation. The Phillies are a feel good squad that wins. And as a country, we love winners that seem gracious in victory. I have to say, I am in the minority on this.
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What's coming next is not going to be pretty.

BY JOSEPH STONE
STACHE WRITER

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth. (Rev 6:8)

The apocalypse is fast approaching. The Philadelphia Phillies punched their ticket to the big Dance last night, pounding the woeful Dodgers into the ground once again, 10 to 4. This was not even a contest. The game went mostly according to script for Philly, the sole miscues being Cole Hamels ineffective performance, and Cahse Utley’s flirting with the Golden Sombrero.

Jayson Werth, Shane Victorino, and Raul Ibanez led the charge to push Philly through to the Series. Werth homered twice, the 3 run job in the first all but putting the stake through LA’s heart. In all honesty, this game was the microcosm of the series. LA threatened early, but Philly had too many weapons, and quickly put the game, as well as the series, out of reach.
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Werth wasn't that great until the Phils took a "chance" on him

BY AARON YORKE AND JOSEPH STONE
STACHE WRITERS

We’ve come to the random non-travel off day between games 4 and 5 in the NLCS. What better time to continue the Phillies Hate Draft that Joseph Stone and I started a few days ago. Today we’ll get to the final three rounds of the draft. Part 1 is here. Enjoy.

Aaron Yorke: For pick #3 I’m going with Jayson Werth. What pisses me off about Werth more than not being able to stand looking at the guy is how suddenly he found success with the Phillies after it looked like his career was going down the drain. After spending a couple of seasons as a part-time outfielder with the Dodgers, Werth missed all of 2006 with wrist problems. So of course the Phils pick him up the next season for a one year deal worth less than a million dollars and he turns into Superman. Clutch home runs, diving catches, even an All-Star appearance. Jayson Werth has done it all after the Phillies hoped he might make it as their fourth outfielder. I can’t stand Jayson Werth.

Joseph Stone: DAMMIT!!!! You took my next pick. I hate that guy’s creey little soul patch. he looks like if he wasn’t playing ball, he’d be profiled on COPS.
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Cliff Lee has been a breath of fresh air for the Phillies. (PHOTO BY ICON SMI)

BY JOSEPH STONE
STACHE WRITER

Hidoki Kuroda was clubbed like a baby seal tonight. In one and third innings, his ERA was 40.50. Joe Torre will have at least two coaches on suicide watch in his hotel room tonight. Scott Elbert, Kuroda’s replacement lasted a whole three batters. They finally brought in Chad Billingsly who got the Dodgers out of the 2nd inning down 6 to nothing. That was the bright spot of the night. Things are not looking to good from the longview for the squad from LA.

Cliif Lee cruised through eight innings, as the Philly bats scorched the Dodger arms. Ryan Howard hit a two run triple(!) in the first, and had a Rib Eye Steak ground out in the second. Werth went yard in the first, and then the bottom of the lineup touched up the scoreboard for 2 in the fifth. Feliz hit a run scoring triple and Ruiz knocked him in to follow. The Cryin’ Hawaiian hit a 3 run jack in the bottom of the 8th just to add insult to injury.
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